It’s Halloween, which means it’s time to cover the house in plastic pumpkins and indulge that Wicker Man fantasy you keep locked away for the rest of the year. Bring out the flaming effigy.
For anyone whose festivities only extend as far as a cheeky apple-bob, shame on you. Here are some cinematic means of ensuring you never want to leave the house again.
1. Evil Dead 2
A guy’s hand tries to kill him. Idle Hands totally ripped that off.
2. Zombie Flesh Eaters.
Also known as Zombi 2, Zombie, Woodoo and Island of the Living Dead, giving this film more of an identity crisis than Frank Abagnale. It’s not one to watch if you’re fond of eyeballs, but it’s late 70s synth music is so good you could just watch it with your eyes closed.
3. C. H. U. D.
The prize for most outlandish acronym goes to C.H.U.D, or Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers. A film to make you afraid of man-hole covers, and showers. Not to be confused with a CHUB – which a quick Google search will tell you is actually niche gay obesity gay porn.
If Hitchcock had made The Birds on a budget of 50p and had only one bird sound sampled from the Internet, he would have created Birdemic. A masterpiece of shit post-production, these birds inexplicably arrive in a small town one day, threatening to ruin the life of a man only armed with coathangers and an unrealistic rifle. Unlike Hitchcock, narrative was of less importance to this screenwriter/director/producer (I suspect they may be the same person, along with the main protagonist), and the feathered creatures just sort of, go home at the end.